Catching Up on the Countdown…

Posted by jadecanary on June 25, 2008

Things have been a little busy here in the Fortress of Steritude. So without further ado…

(here’s an in-between I missed) 14 days: Two orderlies standing outside have a smoke…
Orderly #1: Doc Arkham has been beefing up security since he found that whoopie cushion, huh?
Orderly #2: Y’know it was Chuck. He’s alway pulling $#!! off like that.
A car pulls up. On the side of the car reads “Hagen Security”. A man steps out of the car. He walks past the Orderlies and nods.
Orderly #2: Dude! I swear to God you look just like that guy from that old movie I saw last night on TV!
Man: Thank you! (He smiles as if he was finally noticed by a fan.)
Orderly #1: Isn’t that the movie you were saying all the actors couldn’t act their way out of a paper bag? (Both Orderlies laugh)
The man’s fist closes. He feels himself start to lose consitancy. But he reaffirms himself, shoots the Orderlies a death glance, and walks through the doorway.
Man: 14 days… you’re first.

12 days: “The Setting: an old home remodeled into a rehabilitation center.” “The Hero: a man that dresses up like the lunatics he hunts down.” “The Villiain: A charismatic, handsome and brilliant man with an obsession for the old cinema.” “The Plot: How can the Hero defeat the the Villiain without sucumbing to his own madness?” “The Release Date: (oh how appropriate…) 12 days.”

11 days: Dream a little dream. Dream of the good times. Dream of your happy place. Dream of those you love. Dream about what you care for. Dream the happy dream while you still can. The nightmares are coming. And when I find myself free of this nightmare, I shall become yours!

10 days: She’s been a psychiatrist. She never claimed she was a good one. She’s been in love. She never claimed that was a good thing. She was half of a dynamic duo of her own. She never had more fun. She’s been beaten, abused, busted up and broken. She never thought this life would be easy. She’s been betrayed by her lover. She never wanted to see him again. She’s run with a secret group of 5 other villiains. She never wanted to be there in the first place. She became a psudo-amazon and later took part in saving 52 earths. She never did like that cosmic stuff. In 10 days, she’ll do what she does best. We may never be the same.

9 days: Hmmm. It was this date in 1997 that Hong Kong returned to Chinese control. In 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg began. In 1947, NBC aires the first TV commercial. In 1804, George Sand is born and in 1887, Clay Allison is killed. In 1862, the US Congress pass what would become America’s first income tax. In 2008, this will be the day that will be marked on the calendar for years to come!

8 days: July is hot! Hot hot hot!. The sun will burn. The grass, the trees, the bushes, they will all be dry. Wilting and dying. They will be the perfect fuel. And it will dance for me, my burning passion! And I will dance with it, singing it’s crackling song of destruction!. And the intense heat will seduce my flesh with salty wet taste of sweat. Burn…burn Gotham BURN!!!

7 days: Hi, I’m Bat-Mite. This is my friend Bob Overdog. Sorry, you can’t see him… he’s in a coma. He thought he was that Azrael-Batman pretender guy and got himself hurt. Also, the guys here think he’s crazy. Anyway, I’m here to let you know we have less then a week. For what? TAKE A FREAKING LOOK AROUND, DUMB-DUMB! For like, a month, we’re going to be laughing like a madman, flipping coins and digging deep into our passions: fire, ice, plants, ventriloquism, whatever. My boy >Tiny Voice< over on the Arkham Asylum blog’s got that big doof kicking out some rad new cards so you guys can truly know what it’s like in here.
Bob: Wha–
Looks like Bob is waking up. ORDERLY! We need some more drugs in here! Seriously folks, hold on to your sanity, this will be a CRAZY month (and the whole idea is a rip off of Crime Lords Month at Lost Hemisphere

6 days: Back in Sacramento, the Govenor stares out his window. He remembers a time, not long back, when things were colder. Back when a man could be a scientific genius and a hulking steroid-induced brute. He remembers when he was married to a supermodel that said absolutly nothing, a woman his backstory said he froze to save her life. He remembers combat with the multi-annouced People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive in a super-hero costume with nipples. He wonders why Alicia Silverstone’s costume had no nipples. Then he thinks about nipples. The Govenor has returned to his lost thoughts. Maybe he should in here, too.


One Response to “Catching Up on the Countdown…”

  1. Sweet Lou said

    Lulz, nipples.

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