TRUTH AND JUSTICE: Sex and the City

Posted by jadecanary on May 16, 2008

Say what??

Entertainment Weekly (whose parent company is Time Warner) sent out a double issue featuring the new movie Sex and the City, based on a HBO primetime series (HBO’s parent company is Time Warner). It’s a show featuring some half naked old ladies talking about shoes and who has had the longest orgasm. The show was, apparently, one of the most popular of HBO’s (a Time Warner own channel) prime time dramedies. Popular enough to covet a movie (co-produced by HBO Films, a Time Warner Company).

My complaint isn’t with this… uhh, I guess you’d call it a movie, but about Entertainment Weekly (Time Warner). This magazine cost me 2 issues of my subscription. Two issues for, what, SIXTY-THREE pages about this old chick worship. It’s full of all the ugly clothes, character breakdowns with all their favorite ugly clothes and Sarah Jessica Parker’s BIG hair. And then there is the essay pages about this show… ESSAY PAGES! My God! And an episode guide for people similar to me who didn’t watch the show, except I don’t care about the show and have no intention of seeing this movie.

Do you know the cover price of Entertainment Weekly (Time Warner has something to do with this product)? Neither do I, because I paid like $20 in a school fundraiser to get 10 issues. But this “double issue” counts as two issues of my subscription. What Entertainment Weekly (Time Warner still owns them) is trying to tell me is that Sex and the City (a movie produced in association with HBO films, a [guess what] Time Warner company) is the equal to the summer movie special, the fall movie special, the new TV season special, the Oscar special, and all those others.

What the whole point to this is Warner Bros. (a Time WARNER company) is producing the next Batman (TM DC Comics, Inc, a Time Warner company) movie, “The Dark Knight”. Dark Knight has waaay more going for it. First (and of course the most obvious) is the last performance of Heath Ledger. Christian Bale reprises his role as the Caped Crusader battling the madness infecting Gotham, this time in the form of The Joker (Ledger). This movies is loaded with great actors: Bale, Michael Caine, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal (her brother did it with Ledger in Brokeback Mountain [that line was funnier before Ledger died]), Gary Oldman (he will always be Ludwig Von Beethovan to me, see Immortal Beloved, one hell of a movie), Morgan Freeman, and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (what?). The only thing the Sex movie has got going for it is that one old lady played a Vulcan in “Star Trek VI, The Undiscovered Country”.

All I got to say is this, Entertainment Weekly (Time Warner) hooked-up Sex and the City (based on a show on a cable network owned by Time Warner), they better do the same with the new Batman (a DC Comics character, which “Kevin Bacon”‘s it to Time Warner) movie, The Dark Knight ( From Warner Bros., a Time Warner Company). I want an extra-size issue with all the cool clothes, character bios and “all of those wonderful toys”, and Cillian Murphy’s crazy hair. I want essays from Grant Morrisson, Adam West, and stubarnes. Then I want an episode guide for the 60s Batman, Batman, The Animated Series, The New Batman Adventures, and The Batman (all owned by Time Warner. It’s only fair.

But with my luck, my subscription will run out an issue before the Dark Knight Special, because the Sex and the City issue was a “double Issue”.

A JELLY AND CHEESE SPECIAL REPORT: While doing research for this article, I stumbled across the IMDB page for New Line Cinema. One of the pre-production projects it is set to distribute is…

Billy Batson and the Legend of Shazam!

The only actor listed is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Black Adam. I wet myself when I saw this.


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