INSIGHT: Infestation

Posted by jadecanary on May 5, 2008

Team attackers get +1/+1 while attacking my son’s head directly.

Friday night was like every other night. I read the rest of my comics for the week. Played Mario Kart for a bit. Did some shopping (bought another steering wheel). Ate some dinner. Then my wife gave my son a bath.


And there they were. Concealed team attackers.

 On the left is a nit (egg). On the right is a louse.

My son has lice. I pulled one off his scalp and ran to get a container. Once I found one, I dropped it in. It didn’t look like what you see above… because I crushed it. It wasn’t long before we pulled two more off. Those got in the container alive. Ewww…

What is the first thing we, in the computer age, do when we don’t know something? We Google it. (I have a Yahoo toolbar, so I Yahooed it) I typed in “Lice” and hit enter. Once the search was completed, I switched to image search… and there it was. I was now certain my son had lice.

Panic time, and the itching began. Everything itched. And the paranoia! “He slept in our bed the night before last!” “Did he get it from my sister’s kids?” “This person held him last week!” “Omigod, I have to shave!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

So I headed out to the local CVS. I needed lice combs and some sort of lice killing agent safe for children under 2 years old. And I had 6 minutes to make my choice. “SIX MINUTES!” My beard started to itch. This one: 2 and up. That one: 2 and up, and I need to buy this other one to finish it. Finally, I found “Quit Nits: The Complete Lice Kit”. I’m outta time and it says 6 months and up. I don’t care if it was a cement mix with DDT, it was safe for my kid and my wife could always take it back if I was wrong.

Four. Hours. We had to figure out how to keep this gunk wet under a shower cap on a child in his starting lap of the Terrible Twos. But before that, we had to comb out some of those lice. 7AM, Saturday morning. I’m standing over my son with a light while he is in the office chair I’m currently sitting in (well, he is in his booster-sized high chair in my office chair). The Wiggles are playing non-stop, thanks to Playhouse Disney and my Bright House Networks DVR. Before him are various goldfish crackers, cheese and his milk cup. Mommy is on the love seat with the comb. An hour and a half later, 25-30 lice lie smush within the confines of a paper towel. Time for a Dunkin Donuts coffee and bake-goods break.

Next up was the cleaning. All the sheets off the beds, all the stuff animals removed. And thanks to the aforementioned computer age, we learned that we didn’t have to bag-up all those toys. A shot in the dryer for 15 minutes would kill any of those little suckers. And for the furniture? The vacuum cleaner. I vacuumed the floor. I vacuumed the beds. Hell, I vacuumed the couches. And momma started on the laundry. Next, the treatment.

So how do we keep the gunk and the shower cap on? NAP. Kal usually takes a nap at about noon for three hours. Mommy was on her absolute awesomeness on this. She smothered the stuff in his hair, lock down the cap and immediately went into Kal-shut-down mode.

But not before we snapped this picture. Funny, I never thought Kal’s first picture on Bending Steel would look anything like this.

And then he was out. He slept for the full three hours and forgot it was there for the hour after he awoke. We did it. After she bathed him, it was back to the comb. The nits started to slide out of his hair, and a couple of dead lice went on to a better resting place… the toilet.

The rest of Saturday night went off pretty well. A visit to the grocery store allow me to veer off over to Big Lots and I found a Mickey Mouse toy for him (and a City of Heroes/City of Villains 2-pack for $10). Everything has gone pretty well since. (Well, other then my wife melting the lice comb when trying to sterilize it.)

And then the air conditioner broke.


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